Enjoying a quality experience and authentic connection doesn't generally happen right off the bat when you first meet with someone. It cannot be faked, and it cannot be forced. It takes time, effort, energy and understanding. You can enjoy the feeling of this and the sensual benefits of this without the all of the strings of a traditional relationship.
Some providers excel at these types of deeper, more intimate connections, while others elude at it and miss the mark entirely. It doesn't happen for everyone and shouldn't. When it does work out, it is fabulous and the anticipation is highly enticing. Meeting makes you smile and it is always like greeting a fun friend. Understanding and respect of one another's personal and professional boundaries is paramount to the growth and evolution of each persons sexuality, enjoyment, and self love.
As human beings we all crave physical touch, to be cradled, stroked, sometimes even spanked, licked and fucked. It is an integral part of our development and the human experience. Seeing a provider who is mechanical, disinterested, or just going through the motions to get you out the door is a disservice to you. Seeking out a complete experience that has all of the components of what you desire, whether it be thigh high stockings and strap on play, a gentle flogging, or to sweetly romance a lady for an afternoon can be much more fulfilling on a myriad of levels.
You need to satisfy not only your sensual self, but to nurture yourself as well. There may be times you wish to be treated like a dirty slut and times you wish to feel like a virile passionate tiger. Maybe you just might wish to comfortably enjoy the quiet humming of a ceiling laying in the slpendor with your gal pal engaging in quiet pillow talk while she strokes your chest?
Be sure you are clear with your interests without being crude or vulgar in your communications and listen to hear if she is truly receptive to you. Does she have the equipment needed? Will you host or will she? What are you seeking from the experience? What has made your prior experiences good? What would you like to do different? These things will help you gain the most from your future experiences and quell nervous expectations.