I know I really shouldnt be writing about something so paradoxically taboo and well yeah I shouldn't hit upon things like sex, religion, guilt, power exchange, nuclear families, work-a-holics, stale marriages yadda yadda. Well if I don't do it who else will? Besides what else is a good old Irish Catholic gal turned sideways supposed to do but question the conventional? So here it goes, sweet Jesus forgive me now!
For whatever reason men have an unending need to talk and confess their sins, guit, bad feelings, sense of being overwhelmed, you name it in a safe place and I seem to be that place. Men are told that they are pussies if they seek out a therapist. But seek out a sexy nurturing companion who will listen to your problems in an understanding fashion while you weep and sigh and work out your frustrations and that is much more studly. (Ahem...emotional labor for me, therapeutic for you.) Often they gravitate to me from jobs involving high amounts of stress seeking release and the next thing you know, I 'm holding these big guys and they are either crying their eyes out or expressing appreciation in ways I hadn't ever expected. These are things I haven't experienced in all of my years of healthcare either. This has been a recuring event over the past year. It has never happened to them previously or myself. I'm also being thanked for it.
While I am not in the habit of bringing people into that type of space, I'll just go with it. Apparently you gentlemen are finding a very comfortable space to unwind from your driven lives and frigid wives. I'm finding many cross dynamics with high powered careers and a few in the healthcare industry. Others are harboring ungodly amounts of pent up passion that simply isn't being tended to at home.
Women that read my blogs, give your fucking husbands a blow job would you? Take care of him just once in a while instead of a goddamn honey-do list every weekend. A partner should know what your touch and caress feels like for something other than a holiday, the desire to procreate, or his scheduled once a month sex date. Be present and enjoy it! Your men are coming to me broken and in pieces with poor self esteem and some of your men are the most wonderful husbands and boyfriends that a lady could ask for. I am ashamed and astonished as a female that you would treat them with such disdain. You've shown such terrible emotional and sexual disregard for their needs and feelings which you do not seem to understand.
Men are not like women and need some level of ego stroking to allow them to be who they are as whole beings. Ladies jump in there and hold them, be affectionate and take care of them. Fuck your husbands with the same level of intensity as you did when you first met them. Remember what drew you to him in the first place. If he doesn't do it for you anymore then go grab yourself a stud on the side if need be. For Christ's sake though, this whole nuclear family doing it for the kids bullshit I see day in and day out takes a trememdous toll on the people I see. It simply isn't reality.
Keeping up false ideals in hopes of making some wonderful impression on the world while making everyone miserable and not living an authentic life seems like an exercise in shoveling shit against the tide.
As someone who views all of these things much differently I prefer my own sexual autonomy. Relationships can be wonderful and they are hard work, however I prefer to only keep the one relationship in my life that has been entirely open and allowed my complete autonomy for years. To me that is what works best. I'll never understand being stuck in what doesn't work. I enjoy my freedom far too much.