Everybody has some standard basic characteristics that make them who they are. Some are naturally care takers. I have always been that way. It is essential to my core being that I feed that part of myself. It brings a peace to me to soothe and heal others. I'm not sure why that is or how that is. I just know that it is. I've cared for the sick, bandaged the wounded, and fed the hungry. It's been both a job and a life long devotion. I'm certainly no angel that's for sure. My perfect card expired a long time ago. I see that my ability to give to and care for others has grown tremendously over the years. This has evolved in a rather positive fashion with a few slight drawbacks.
I've had to be mindful of caring for others while not draining myself of energy at the same time. Being full of love and life is an amazing thing and I've been very lucky to have so much abundance in that area of the past couple of years. It can be exhausting at times and I am careful where I place my energy now. It is never misspent on those who aren't contributing to that same positive energy and light I wish to surround myself with. (If your wondering it's like a big warm breeze engulfing you) I am genuinely pretty happy on a visceral level and wish I could share that with anyone who was sad. Being sad or hurting sucks.. I've been there, I know.
I've poured energy into fixer upper friends who drained me of all of my positive energy like vampires and felt like a shell after. Now, I can see it from a mile away and tend to keep much smaller circles. I prefer an actual courting experience to very slowly get to know people who wish to be friends now. As a child I openly welcomed the world, as an adult I spend more time with my pets and just a few people. I have many acquaintances whom I am very gracious towards. I simply choose not to engage them on a more intimate let's hang out level. I reserve that for only a few folks. It's odd how we change through life. As kids we desire to sometimes be the center of everything. As an adult I'd rather just blend into the background, happy to make somebody else smile.
September 24, 2014
Sex positive provider and healing negative experiences....