To be who you are takes a tremendous amount of strength and some of us have to overcome adversity to be ourselves. What is sometimes seen on the outside as cool, calm, and collected to others can take years to evolve or may sometimes be a thin veneer. This can particularly exist in LGBTQ communities or amongst those identifying as LGBTQers. Not everyone just comes rolling out of their mom's vagina loud and proud with a rainbow colored feather boa on screaming "I am fabulous motherfuckers!" I did but I am pretty sure that a tiny drag queen lives within me somewhere. (That bitch loves make up and lingerie!!!)
As a gal who is very genderfluid and pansexual I've struggled with acceptance and tolerance and judgement from other folks. Eventually I no longer cared. I came out a long time ago. I knew as a kid I just identified very differently. I never cared if others thought I was weird or different because to me they were the ones who were strange. How could someone be so close minded to let something like genitals/gender stop them from loving a person? It just seemed very bizarre. I cried about these things, got angry, argued my feelings and was quickly reduced by those not in the equality circle to a puddle of tears if not worse on occasion.
I got older and realized that what other people thought of me was none of my business. What I thought of me was what mattered. How you love and who you love doesn't matter. The fact that you love so profoundly and without restricition is a gift. You don't need to overthink it you just have to be okay with it within yourself. Fuck everyone else.
People struggle with this constantly and I am so lucky to have support. I've watched a lot of friends not have that same support in coming out, and in being out. I've been in public with my girlfriend and been ogled and what not. She doesn't get the support I get and it has hurt her tremendously. I've seen people try to disrespect her boundaries not understanding that we were together and she was not desiring additional attention. I've seen her take verbal jabs from her family and straight friends who know about her lifestyle. What kind of fucking people do shit like this? Not people who are supposed to love and care for you. It is never okay to force your beliefs on another person. Cripey!
Why do people think it is okay to assume that anyone identifies a certain way? Then to tell them how they should behave sexually because said person is uncomfortable with the other persons sexuality? Well geez man. I'm stunned. Let me just pick my jaw up for a minute here. It isn't a choice. You just are who you are. Who the fuck is anyone to talk or think like that? You make me sick you ignorant pigs! This is why LGBTQ folks are committing suicide. It's ridiculous that there is any friggen closet anymore. what's more is that when a person doesn't appear to be what society deems obviously "gay" you have to keep coming out again and again and again. People tend tol think pretty and feminine ladies couldn't possibly have different sexual proclivities or prefrences than mainstream folks. I hate to see anyone go through the pain of this. Families and friends get torn apart because of people imparting their beliefs on one another instead of practicing unconditional love and acceptance. Move on people and learn about tolerance.