Random thoughts on intimacy and dating...

July 15, 2016

So having been involved for a while with the same partner I have will attest to the fact that we all get pretty rusty on the whole dating and flirting front. Like so rusty that we awkwardly stagger through really poor attempts at flirting. Mine either are completely socially awkward or I attempt some weird chick thing that looks like I am having a full body spasm. Automatic fail on my part. This is why I just don't even bother...It reminds me why I really prefer to be by myself sometimes. Clumsy just isn't as sexy as you would think. I am that chick that falls on her way into a place with absolutely zero drinks. Yes, I am a friggin warrior! It also takes a great sense of humor and really good reflexes to watch out for my next face plant.

 

 Dating guys or gals these days scares the shit out of me because I just don't have the interest in going through a lot of random bullshit. I am very honest and straight forward. I am who I am which happens to be a pretty awesome person. I know what I like and what I don't. I don't like it when people try to convince me otherwise because they find me attractive or interesting or curious. I may not find them the same if I am being led to believe something false. I can also sniff out BS better than any hound that was ever bred. So I can relate to why people stay with partners that may no longer be ideal for whatever reason. People change for better or worse, and as easily as we fall into love we can grow apart. 

 

So why do we do it? The immediate feeling of desire and being wanted provides a fantastically euphoric high that is natural and unmatched. It excites us on a raw very primal sexual level that later will start to stimulate our brain in a way that actually starts to make us think. The thinking part can be the dangerous part. It is all fun and games until your brain starts screwing with you and reminding you that you will likely get bored shitless of said person or sabotage yourself by finding reasons not to like them. Why? Because dating is like a really long interview with sex involved. It takes time, patience, and nerves of steel. Who has time for that? Sometimes you just have to think oh cripey is it worth it?

 

One day it may be all Unicorns and sprinkles while you are rocking each other's worlds. Three months later you are just sitting there one day thinking look at how everything this person does just somehow offends you. No particular reason at all, you just happen to remember that you really prefer to be by yourself because you just haven't met anyone all that nifty yet. Maybe you think you did but you are just one of those reclusive weirdos who is probably going to end up in a writer's cabin alone with your dogs someday. That is probably in my future. Maybe not.

 

People used to stay together forever, in some strange effort to fulfill societal norms. Two partners providing for one another in balanced harmony until death. It didn't matter if they were happy or it was right or wrong. You had to do it to be just like everybody else and show folks you had achieved it all. You had the 2.5 kids, house, white picket fence and dog in the yard. 

 

Achieving self awareness and purpose are better ideals. Learning to love oneself before trying to love another person makes so much more sense. We all have days when we question our confidence and self love.  Learning to self evolve is a slow and often arduous process. It is however worth all of the work and time involved and putting oneself first. After all  if you don't put yourself first nobody else will.

 

 

 

 

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