The many fucks....

September 7, 2016

There are many types of fucks out there in the world. Sometimes people are just happy to be getting fucked at all. Well the single most important thing to remember is that it's not the face you fuck it's the fuck you face. Make sure you let that marinate a little bit.

 

The worst is the lazy fuck....this one just barely has the energy to participate and crawls up all wheezing and tired like it's a goddamn effort to get off. Look just stop. Don't even bother, I don't want anyone that out of shape and lazy squishing me and displacing one of my ribs. Already been there and done that. We aren't miracle workers nor should we have to endure occupational hazards such as being squished to death. 

 

Then you have the porno fuck...This dude watches a lot of friggen porn and cannot get off unless he is basically slamming the shit out of someone. His idea of sex is hard, fast, and nonstop porno style action with his big ole dick. Well hey Bartender...Check please! Everyone likes some intense sex but not everyone wants to be tossed around like a rag doll so this fuck stick can feed his ego. I am very into some hot stuff but being a small slender woman I like things hot and sensual and prefer to be treated more gently. 

 

The sexy fuck...Who is this person? Most likely this one has all those moves that just seemingly pop up out of nowhere. They read your body and reciprocate in kind. They want to please and be pleased, it is more mutual and fulfilling and the chemistry is good.

 

The flattery fuck...This dude keeps reminding you that he absolutely adores you and everything you do. Umm, Thanks? It can be a little weird but he is sweet and always appreciative. If he becomes too flattery and starts making strange amounts of eye contact fire him. 

 

The oops fuck...This dude came in his pants when you opened the door. Well hey man, it happens. 

 

The miracle fuck...This guy has come to you hoping that after many of his own failed attempts at curing his erectile dysfunction you can do it. So there you are Miracle Sex Goddess about to raise the dead...you are thinking I cannot do a thing with this limp noodle. However Spanky here is convinced that despite his high blood pressure, diabetes, and 60 extra pounds you can. So after an hour of this you just toss your hands in the air like you have no idea what went wrong. 

 

The marathon fuck...This guy never loses a beat...ever! He just takes a licking (rather gives one  and is damn good too) and keeps on going. He gets off and before you know it there he is ready again, and again, and again. This guy absolutely is one of the most fun to play with. 

 

 

 

 

 

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