The air had a sense of strangeness that hung heavy in the thickness of the fog. It was an uneasy feeling that reminded me that someone or something just wasn't right.
Maybe it was the fact that I was super sensitive to other people and knew friends that had been wearing their crazy pants since the full moon. Maybe I was wondering if the Patriots were going to have to pull Edelman out as their fourth stringer on Thursday? Or maybe it was just Monday.
Strange days had come and gone, today was a good day for quiet reflection. I had to figure out how to gently handle a former love interest with kid gloves. Sometimes people don't want to stay in the friend zone you keep shoving them into. It's like you have to keep kicking them right back into that safe net and they keep trying to escape. Who has time for that?
All in all there was peace and quiet and a sense of harmony within my own four walls. I kind of reveled in that secure feeling not wanting to share the calm with anyone. Sometimes you have to preserve that energy for yourself, particularly when dealing with those that harbor negative or very emotionally draining energy. Knowing that some people might adversely affect my own harmonious balance I tend to be very cautious about those I surround myself with. I enjoy being alone and having my private sanctuary to retreat to. I enjoy spending time with certain people in limited doses. Then when I'm done I often find that I need to regroup. Unless of course I've actually managed to tune out people and refocus on ....wait for it....yep some sporting event.
I prefer small intimate settings and groups of people. I like to blend in and observe despite my outgoing nature. It's a chronic struggle between wanting to hide and wanting to be heard. I never really understood that dynamic. Probably because I usually do say what I am thinking. However, I am very aware that if I was an unattractive female or a man I would be listened to as a more credible person.
September 24, 2014
Sex positive provider and healing negative experiences....