I couldn't put my finger on any particular thing. Things had been changing, the cosmos were enacting some sort of mojo thing that the universe does. I had been aware of this and tried my best to cooperate and not fight it. I was walking in peaceful places and these were cherished days. A few years ago I wouldn't have even considered how simplified my life would be.
I knew changes were a foot. Changes that as they started to become apparent were much different than what I was sure of. However icky change is and stressful it is.....ugh....it makes room for growth.
Oh crap. I am really tired of growing up man. It is not easy evolving into your best self. Lots of growing pains along the way and frustration.
I'm not afraid of that, I am always wary of the unknown. Life is about living and living hard. I don't want to arrive at any point in my life perfectly preserved because I was afraid of living. I want to slide in side ways and squeal the tires, come in on the rails helmet askew worn and weathered. You have to be willing to live fully if you want to have any life at all.
I don't know what lies ahead. I'm going to chart my course once I get my sea legs again. They are there. I just need to wait until I feel strong enough to sail. The Ocean brings clarity, peace, sustenance, beauty, and mystery. There is so much to respect and admire. I'm continually in awe upon the water.